I feel like every man who has ever tried to convince me to take some rando shouting “Hey girl, nice ass” at me as a compliment sees it this way: You’re sitting outside some Italian café in a Betty Draper dress sipping a prosecco when all of a sudden your dainty neck scarf flies off in the light breeze. Joseph Gordon Levitt, wearing a linen suit with a pocket square and no socks with his penny loafers, steps off his Vespa and hands it to you while saying something witty about how it’s almost as beautiful as you are. You then both ride off into the sunset, laughing as Dean Martin plays in the background and the director yells cut on the espresso commercial that is your life.
In reality, it’s you getting yelled at by a bunch of sweaty men standing outside a bar at eight in the morning, telling you about how fuckable you look in your sweatpants when you’re just trying to get a bottle of milk in peace like a goddamn human being. And it is the opposite of a compliment.
Bodies are hairy. No matter the gender, your face will have hair and that is more than okay.
Your butthole is going to have some hair too. And maybe your nipples. And your tummy. And where ever else.
Stretch marks. Those are a thing. Everyone gets ‘em. If you don’t, you probably don’t have skin.
Vaginas smell. Every vagina has a scent. Don’t worry about it! (Unless something seems wrong, then go get it checked out! No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed.)
Vaginas come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
Penises come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
You don’t need to shave anything if you don’t want to. It’s tooootally not mandatory.
Sometimes people get butt acne.
You can have a vagina and want short hair and think dresses are just the worst.
You can have a penis and want long hair and think dresses are just the best.
You can wear whatever you want and style your hair however you want.
You can even think whatever the hell you want.
People might tell you that you are a girl because you have a vagina. People might tell you that you are a boy because you have a penis. People will tell you what your gender is. But in reality, you don’t have to be that gender. You don’t have to be either of those genders.
You are what you are and it’s just the worst thing if you try and hide that.
I like this a lot except I think for that last point because I think it can be problematic because sometimes people feel the need to hide the way they are as a defense mechanism and that doesn’t make them bad. And some people really don’t like the way they are and if changing that will make them happy then that’s not a bad thing. I would like to edit that last statement to say “You are what you are and it’s just the worst thing if somebody makes you feel like you have to hide that.”
You don’t owe anyone straight blonde hair or plucked eyebrows or smooth pits or shaved legs or a bald pussy. You don’t owe anyone a hundred dollars a month for fresh highlights or thirty dollars to conceal the dark circles under your eyes. You don’t owe anyone embarrassment for how…